There are many individuals out there who know someone with endometriosis. They have not felt the pain of endo and will never understand our daily struggle. Some choose not to listen or care, however others have the desire to help but do not know how. This is my message to you! The friend, the significant others, the children, the grandparents, the aunts, and the uncles… You do not have to understand! We do not expect the perfect answers to our problems from you. There is nothing you can do (unless you are some kind of health professional and even then there is no cure) that will take our pain away. However you can come along side us. You can help us draw the strength to carry our own burdens. I believe one of our EndoArmy VA, DC, MD members worded it very well.
I think it’s important- at least for me, that my loved ones know that I don’t need them to understand what I’m going through, I just need them to be there to hold my hand when I’m hurting, hug me and lift me up on my bad days, and just be there for me. My fiancé has no idea what it’s like to have endo but he still wakes up when I’m in pain at 3 am and sits next to me while I’m crying in the bath or curled around my heating pad. That’s all I could ever ask for.”
I know our loved ones can feel just as helpless as we do at times. Please believe me when I tell you that, YOU make a difference. The significant other that goes without all too often because intimacy hurts their partner, but never complains. The best friend that keeps showing up despite many canceled plans and hearing way to much about the condition our body is in. The parent who hides their fear before their child goes into surgery so they won’t be afraid. We see you. We love you. We need you!
When you don’t know what to say, know we still appreciate your silent company. When you make a funny face because we told you about the last chocolate cyst we had pop, know we appreciate that you still listen to our sometimes unappealing life happenings. When you cry with us, know it is okay. It makes us feel less alone. When you march with us, know our hearts are filled with honor to have you by our sides. Lastly! When you say the wrong thing or if can’t be there when we are in pain, know we understand. You are human too. We still love you for everything you have done for us. You help give us the power to keep going.